Be True!

I've know Eric for the longest time, since 7.
YES! Seven year old.

He was my primary school classmate and we lost contact since then.
I thought it was fate that I found him after all these years.

There's hardly a day when we didn't meet or chat on the phone since then.
Everything's just like a dream, a sweet one.

As much as I wish I didn't have to wake up, a dream is a dream.

Then the day came, much like a changing point in our so-called friendship.
At least that's what we thought it was.

For whatever reason it is, I could almost see whats coming.
The thing about changing friendship to relationship, and the pretty much HIGH possibility of being irreversible in some.

Despite the fact that he assured me that there's nothing to worry about, and we should just let nature take its course, but the problems about men are that the promises that they made, only valid till the day which is set by themselves.

As a matter of fact, I believe that everyone learns from each relationship and subconciously, something will be brought over from the previous relationship to the next.

Like what Stam said, "爱一个人就要爱她/他的全部".
1. I made myself waking up slightly earlier just to have breakfast with him.
2. I set alarm at 9am every morning including weekends, just to give him morning calls.
3. I waited blankly for 3 hours for him to knock off, so as to spend a sec longer with him.
4. I buy him meals right to the doorstep when he said he's hungry.
5. I drove him wherever he wants to go even if its so out of the way.

I sees only the good side and accepted all those negative ones.
Whatever I do, I do it for him just for a simple reason.

Things were just perfect till I can't even remember when, when he seems to be hidding our relationship from others, yet still behaving in a way that obviously we are NOT JUST FRIENDS.

Ya, he said we were JUST FRIENDS.
1. He left his friends waiting at his place while he sends me home.
2. He shares drink with me using his personal mug.
3. He hugs/kisses me at times and never fails to touch my face when he gets off the car.
4. He shares a bowl of soup with me even when his mum is around.
5. He lets me stayover at his place when I'm so tired after the Mahjong session.

Yeah, we were just friends huh?!
Do either one of the above to any of your friends and tell me about it.

1. We were so close that people who don't know us would ask if we were together.
2. We hangout so often that our friends are alway linking us together.
3. His brother's so used to seeing me in his bedroom sleeping and even taking showers.
4. His mother didn't even bother much when I'm in his room with the door closed.
5. I appear at his place so often that I'm no longer treated as a guest.

Ya, we were JUST FRIENDS.

FRIENDS only lah...

Nothing but FRIENDS...

Ya, we were REALLY JUST FRIENDS.

Ya, he's right and we were JUST FRIENDS!!!!

WHAT THE FARKING FARK??!!!

And so, we have broke up(if you consider that as a broke up) for like so many times and obviously, patching(if you consider that as a broke up in the first place) eventually...

After all the whatever whichever and however,
Me: "Do you love me?"
Eric: "I do have feelings for you."
Me: "Yes or no?"
Eric: "Yes and no."

Despite his answer being both but my heart seems to be blinded by the NO.
I was heartbroken.

It has been half a month since we last talked.
We happened to be one of those irreversible cases.

Ya, we were friends and still are, perhaps in another few weeks, months or even years...
We will be friends, again.

To Eric,

Whatever happened, happened for a reason, at least thats what I believed.
I don't go through hundreds and hundreds of profiles in Friendster to look for familiar faces, who might turn out to be someone I know just simply out of boredom.

I'm sure you know it takes 2 hands to clap.
If there's nothing from you, no matter what I did will never turn into a clap at all.

I'm not expecting anything from you and all I wish is for you to be true to yourself, to your feeling and to your heart. Look at our relationship with your heart and not your eyes.

I believe that as long as you love someone, you don't have to care about anything, anyone and obviously, it doesnt apply to you and I know I did whatever I can.

I wish our temporary goodbye would turn into a new hello soon.
Till then, take care my friend.