The Last Time
Yesterday's night was exceptionally quiet.
As I sat by the window with my ipod playing with a close to bursting my ear drums volume, I cried.
I recalled everything, every single moment we had, from the very first day we met, the very second he talked to me.
I dug through my memory visualising everything.
The blushing expression when he first hands his namecard to me.
The desperate-ness in his eyes wanting me to call.
The excitness he sounded when I first called.
The warmth of his hand when he first offered to hold my hand.
The sweetness of him when he first let me rest on his shoulder instead of my lap.
The gentleness of him when he travelled on 20km/hr on his bike trying to send the drunkened me home, spending almost an hour which normally requires only 15minutes.
The feel of how he held my hands under his shirt to keep me warm from the chilling cold air.
The way he puts on the helmet for me.
The laughters and surprises he always has for me.
The candlelight dinner with cant buy with money kinda atmosphere he created.
How he opened his arms for me when I was down.
How he hold me tightly when I almost fell.
How happy he was and jumping like a kid when I bought him a jacket.
How proud he was going around telling people that I bought him a cake.
How angry he got when he saw my injuries.
How worried he was when I'm sick.
How nice of him to always make sure I eat enough.
How darling of him to always cook and washs the dishes.
How cute of him to wake up in the morning kissing my cheeks saying that he wants to get married.
How funny of him when he tried drawing our future home.
So many of the many.
I always know that it wont last.
Not that we quarrelled alot though, I just knew it.
You know it never will lasts but you just dont believe that it has ended.
Even when you believe its the end, you just cant accept it.
For the one last time,
Stam, thanks for being with me.
The warmth that I never had.
The happiness that I never encountered.
The changes you made in me.
I love you always, even as a friend.
As I sat by the window with my ipod playing with a close to bursting my ear drums volume, I cried.
I recalled everything, every single moment we had, from the very first day we met, the very second he talked to me.
I dug through my memory visualising everything.
The blushing expression when he first hands his namecard to me.
The desperate-ness in his eyes wanting me to call.
The excitness he sounded when I first called.
The warmth of his hand when he first offered to hold my hand.
The sweetness of him when he first let me rest on his shoulder instead of my lap.
The gentleness of him when he travelled on 20km/hr on his bike trying to send the drunkened me home, spending almost an hour which normally requires only 15minutes.
The feel of how he held my hands under his shirt to keep me warm from the chilling cold air.
The way he puts on the helmet for me.
The laughters and surprises he always has for me.
The candlelight dinner with cant buy with money kinda atmosphere he created.
How he opened his arms for me when I was down.
How he hold me tightly when I almost fell.
How happy he was and jumping like a kid when I bought him a jacket.
How proud he was going around telling people that I bought him a cake.
How angry he got when he saw my injuries.
How worried he was when I'm sick.
How nice of him to always make sure I eat enough.
How darling of him to always cook and washs the dishes.
How cute of him to wake up in the morning kissing my cheeks saying that he wants to get married.
How funny of him when he tried drawing our future home.
So many of the many.
I always know that it wont last.
Not that we quarrelled alot though, I just knew it.
You know it never will lasts but you just dont believe that it has ended.
Even when you believe its the end, you just cant accept it.
For the one last time,
Stam, thanks for being with me.
The warmth that I never had.
The happiness that I never encountered.
The changes you made in me.
I love you always, even as a friend.
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