What Again This Time?

Something's really wrong somewhere man...

Just when I'm recovering from the depression, I fell into it again.
Just when I decided to slowly let go, he came back again.

宝贝： 最近好吗？ 好久没出门了， 这个礼拜有空吗？ 我们去走走？

What now?

I was too surprised! I seriously did not expect anything like this any longer after being out of contact for more than 2 months.

I don't want to be disappointed again so I replied to reconfirm. There he replied with time and venue.

So its set. It'll be 5pm at East Coast 老地方 coming Sunday.
*East Coast - A place full of our memories, good or bad, happy or sad. We started there, perhaps putting an end to everything there is not a bad idea as well.

I've walked this far. Seriously, I won't want to return back to day 1. It's too painful to experience it again. I wished for changes but I have questions popping out every now and then.

I wished very much to patch but can things go back to the past? Will things remain or will they change as well? will the feeling be still as strong? Will similar incident happen again? Can I take a 2nd blow?

No answers.

I wished to sort things out but am I really ready for it. Would I be disappointed to know the truth? Is it better to stay in the dark? Will I be able to accept him as a friend instead in the future? Can we stay the same?

No answers.

I'm very confused about the whole thing.

Previously, he told me that I shouldnt bother to sms him anymore as he aint going to read any. But, he actually responded yesterday saying that he understand what I'm going through and he've no idea what to say to console me. To add on, he wasn't in Singapore. *Afterall, he still cares.

Yesterday night, I did something which I think its pretty hard for me to forgive myself. Its inappropriate to say anything here so I passed. I just felt bad and no excuses for me. I mean I could have, I should have, I might have... Nvm...

My main concern is should I return his stuffs to him on Sunday as well? If I were to do so, does that mean everything's going to end? If I don't, how long am I going to drag?

Things are alway easier said than done.