我会努力微笑面对...

I'm again listening to 익숙칠 않아 by Rain. Yes, again thinking of him. Another 8days to his birthday...

Time flies, its just as if it was yesterday that I said Happy Birthday to my beloved Baobei. We were so closed then and, I can still remember clearly what happened last year...

Since he doesn't have much friends in Singapore and not wanting him to spend his birthday alone, I decided to buy him a cake as our dinner. Straight away after work, I rushed down to his workplace thinking of giving him a surprise. Instead, he gave me a surprise! He wasn't there.

Feeling disappointed, I called him.

亲爱的：你在哪里？
宝贝：我老板请我吃饭。
亲爱的：我现在在你这里。
宝贝：我又没叫你来。
亲爱的：Ok, bye。

Can you imagine being scolded for what I've done? I was devastated and still I hold back my tears on my way back. I was struggling till he calls back.

宝贝：你在哪里？
亲爱的：在车上要回家。*Then the tears came...
宝贝：我饭都没吃就回来了，你在气什么？
亲爱的：没有！我只是气我自己，是我自己苯！ 怕你一个人过生日， 有女朋友好像没有。一放工， 饭都没吃就赶下来还被人骂！是我自己苯啦！我以后不会去了。
宝贝：我没有怪你，我只是不想你花钱又跑来跑去的。
亲爱的：随便你啦！我留了东西在前面柜台，自己去拿吧。

That night, I cried to sleep... *Though he messaged me that he's really happy and he loves me.

I bought him a cake just enough for him and his colleagues, but that silly thing says that its a gift from me and its not meant to be shared! *He's just like a big kid... And so, he kept the cake in the fridge and had the cakes as his meals for 2 days! I really like the way he appreciates things from me. He might be 'not very understanding of why am I doing it' at times but still, he's a very nice darling who never fails to melt my heart. *I mean isnt it sweet when your bf goes around showing off that the cake you bought, is in fact LOVE and he's NOT going to share it? Awwww...

I've been thinking what to buy for him this year or rather, whether or not to buy him anything. Anyway, I've a few ideas in mind. A titus watch? *Since he bought me one. A Levis jacket? *Since he did mention that he wished to have one. Or maybe I should just buy him a cake? *Since he doesn't like me to spend money on him. In fact, what to buy isn't much an issue but rather, HOW SHOULD I PASS THE PREZZIE TO HIM??? He doesn't want to see me and on the other hand, I'm afraid to see him even though I missed him so much. Have you ever encounter the feeling of missing someone so much that you hope you won't have to see him again? Yes, thats what I feel...

In fact, I bought us a couple ring on Valentine's day. One is worn by me and the other, is on my neck. I've decided that I will only give it to him if he wants it. *As in if he's READY for it...

I'll now take it easy.

Just like the show where 邱泽 said: "我会努力微笑面对。"